I bet every childless woman who had an abortion dodges Mother’s Day flowers. Please don’t demonize teen marriage and teen pregnancy for married teens. Please consider the regretful childless woman before you start handing out Mother’s Day flowers to every woman who enters your church.
A few years ago, a dear lady I love was called up to make an announcement to the congregation. She didn’t know what to do with the Mother’s Day flower that I had dodged at the church entrance. She handed it to me to hold for her.
Holding the pretty flower, I broke first into tears, and then into sobs. I was filled with grief at the loss of my potential motherhood. I was blessed to have a husband at my side who could comfort me. The lady apologized later. She hadn’t had any idea what a heavy burden that flower represented to me.
If I had any live children, I suppose regret wouldn’t have so strong a hold on me. As it is I am 47 and will now be childless for life. I don’t feel guilty; I am forgiven. Regret sometimes overpowers me, though. I made the choices that brought me here. It is too late for me to change my own situation, but I try to make young women aware of the choices they have.
Why I Made the Choices I Did
I felt a lot of pressure to graduate from college when I was young. I concentrated on that. I had to work my way through, and so it took ten years. Marriage engagement and pregnancy hindered me, and so I broke off my engagement and I got an abortion.
I never once considered keeping the baby. I was brainwashed. I thought my life would be worthless without a college degree. I had no idea I would regret this later in life. I received no counseling on this.
Next, I felt pressure to establish myself in a career. That is what intelligent women do these days, don’t you know?
I was two years into my teaching career when God put my husband in my path. He courted me for a year, and I was 31 when we married. We intended on starting a family, but we wanted to be newlyweds for a while, just the two of us. Before we knew it my biological clock had ticked past the safe childbearing age.
Another factor was my mom is a neonatal ICU nurse who told me about horrible birth defects almost every day of my life. She had warned me that the possibility of birth defects increases by 10 percent every year once a potential mother turns 35.
Please Don’t Demonize Teen Marriage and Pregnancy
I belong to many Internet bulletin boards for Stephenie Meyer’s “Twilight” books and movies. Teen marriage and teen pregnancy are hot issues on these boards. Bella Swan marries Edward Cullen and gets pregnant with her husband’s child when she is 18. Bulletin board posters don’t get nearly so upset over Edward being a vampire as they do over Bella’s teen marriage and teen pregnancy. This makes me angry.
What in the world is so wrong with a married teen couple having children? Nothing, that is what. We have become brainwashed as a society into thinking all young people need to go to college and start careers before they marry and start families, and then we wonder why the abortion rate is so high and why all the young people are shacking up and having pre-marital sex. Wouldn’t it be better if teens married?
Back to Mother’s Day Flowers
I really wish my church would realize not all women are mothers, and some of us regret that we aren’t mothers. Yes, it is nice to celebrate motherhood and to honor mothers. Just, please consider my plight and the plight of other women like me when you plan how to honor mothers and to celebrate motherhood. Thanks.
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